Five happy things 1

I thought I would start posting Five things that have made me happy, or that I am grateful for at the end of each week, to try and keep in mind the positive things. Feel free to comment things that habe made you happy this week too. I got on my bicycle for the first …

Those out of the blue days…

Mostly now I can feel myself ever so slowly creeping forward to a place where I might just be able to move on, to move forward from this. Not that it will ever not be a part of me, but I cannot and will not let my past define me. I am a mother yes, …

At one point I had a twin

​I have spent my entire life knowing that there was once a twin that could have been but wasn't.  The type of heterochromia (two different coloured eyes, one blue one half blue-half-green) that I have is caused by there being non identical twins in the womb, two embryos merge into one another and if the …

Aughhhhhhhhh

​I miss our baby so much. I don't want it to be 3 months. I don't want it to. I just want to scream I don't know what to do anymore. How can we have nearly done 3 months of this? How am I supposed to get up every day for the rest of my …

More links and resources

http://www.momjunction.com/articles/ways-to-heal-your-body-after-a-miscarriage_00350190/?amp=1 http://www.momentsaday.com/15-lessons-learned-from-miscarriage/ http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/08/04/opinion/sunday/the-trauma-of-being-alive.html?referer=http://www.momentsaday.com/15-lessons-learned-from-miscarriage/ http://www.withtearsoflove.com/?m=1 http://www.scarymommy.com/things-learned-after-recurrent-miscarriage/ http://www.scarymommy.com/sister-miscarriage/?utm_source=FB http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/miscarriage http://www.thedarlingdays.com/honor-a-baby-lost-through-miscarriage/ http://www.thedarlingdays.com/honor-a-baby-lost-through-miscarriage/ https://www.momschoiceawards.com/blog/three-things-i-wasnt-expecting-to-grieve-in-the-midst-of-recurrent-pregnancy-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-766?utm_source=pinterest&utm_medium=pinterest_pin&utm_campaign=pinterest_blog Kelly Farley’s book Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back. The film Return to Zero

Coping quotes 9

A little somthing for the fathers. Christian/faith based sentiment. Still sweet.

Resources for men

There isn't enough support regarding men and their experience with miscarriage, so I did a little research and came up with this  This will take you to the google search  Men and miscarriage leaflet the miscarriage association: online leaflet Cosmopolitan magazine article An article form the site 'the art of manliness' is available here. 'Baby centre' …

Little turnip…

You take your joy when you can get it in times like these, and today my joy was, of all things turnips. I got the app notification which now tells me how many weeks along I would have been, rather than tracking a pregnancy.  I originally deleted it to save myself heartache, yet I found more …

Dinosaur hat

Morrison's baby section, lovingly placed opposite the self service till which I frequent regularly now interups what used to be a calming and enjoyable lunchtime sabbatical. When I'm getting my lunch it never fails to find new ways of stabbing me in the tender spot where my heart is still trying to stitch itself back …

Family tree

​I don't believe in heaven  Yet still I talk to you I think that you can hear me, I hope that it is true. You are my precious baby. I'll love you all my life, Though we never got to hold you, and the pain cuts like a knife. Talking makes it less like I …

Time travel

​If I could go back to myslef in those early days of pregnancy, when I was in the middle of the whirlwind. I don't know what I would have said, or in all honesty what could have been done differently. But I know exactly what I would say to muself as I sat on the …

Rising panic

The feeling of panic I get when I think that I may never have kids is difficult to explain. All my life I have planned for children; the 'Kids rooms' and 'Child care' boards on pinterest didn't start with the positive pregnancy test, nor did the obsession with babies and children. I love them, I …