Piss off I’m just an auntie

My partners brother (henceforth termed brother in law) and his partner are having a baby.

People on my side of the family keep teasing me about knitting baby shoes when we gather to watch tv on a sunday with the whole clan together.

‘Ohh are you expecting’

‘Look someone’s broody’

‘It’ll be your turn soon’ etc…

And it hurts. One hell of a lot. It’s almost unbearable the idea of a baby that’s going to look a little bit like my partner that ISN’T OURS. 

I am super glad for the in laws. I’m excited for an end to the baby droughts and am on full Yess-I-get-to-be-an-Auntie-again-let’s-knit-tiny-clothes mode…

… But I’m also in look at baby patterns and feel jealous and cry for three hours over trying to make shoes mode as well.

I’m sad that their baby won’t meet their cousin, and I’m sad I’m still on the aunt bench and not the mother bench. And I’m sad that I’m knitting for somebody else’s baby and not mine.

My best friend suggested I get a sign to tell people I’m just an auntie, or a loudspeaker or a hat.

At this point I agree, although the whole ‘just and auntie’ thing comes with it’s own ways to stab me in the guts. I’m not just an auntie. I’m a mother, just not a very obvious one.

So yeah everyone who keeps talking like that

Piss off I’m just an auntie 

Love and support always, 

Surviving Miscarriage Together x