Today's prompt is quiet. Sometimes I like the quiet, but mostly I am not good at being quiet. I like noise, life, sound. I always have music playing. Turning the radio on is the first thing I do in the morning, and one of the last things to go off at night. I try not … Continue reading Day 30. Quiet #MWAH2017
Tomorrow morning at 'stupidearly' a.m I am off to Cornwall so I don't know how able I will be to blog. I hope there is wifi, as I still have two days of #MayWeAllHeal to do, and I don't want to miss them. So if posts are late or I vanish eintirely for a couple … Continue reading Tomorrow a holiday.
Light. I often light a candle for Emmet, either at home or one of the ones at the church or the Abbey. Yesterday I went to the Norfolk show and made one out of beeswax. It was a deep forest green, I lit it last night and let it burn out. Sometimes you need light … Continue reading Day 29. Light #MWAH2017
When I say trighers I mean for me, the 'Triggers' of anxiety/panic attacks, bouts of crying, and the undeniable urge to flee. Late night showers. I avoided them until last week actually unless I was either with my partner, or he was in the room having a chat. Sorry Love, I sort of lied and … Continue reading Triggers. And why they are weird.
Broken. I have a thing for broken things. Broken objects. Broken animals. I try to fix everything. I want to go into Conservation of Cultural Heritage, which is basically fixing broken things, oy they are a bit more impressive than re painting my Mum's prized sugar tub. I hate it when something can't be fixed, … Continue reading Day 28. Broken #MWAH2017
Soothe. Lots of things soothe me. Hugs from my partner, phone calls when you just need to hear someones voice. Post cards from my Grandma, always with serene photographs, the same loopy handwriting we struggle to decode, the same message of love and thoughtfulness in every immaculately straight line of print. Hearing birds sing outside, … Continue reading Day 27. Soothe #MWAH2017
Love makes family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.
Not doing great today. It's been 8 months and 4 days. 247 days since we lost Emmet. Mostly I am okay now. I cope fairly well, but today I put aside as a rest day, and I got left alone with my thoughts a little too long perhaps. Also remembered why I stopped watching live … Continue reading Aptimill you can fuck off, and where can I get more chocolate Crepes?
Hello. This is just to say that Emmet's dad will now also start posting blogs. So watch out for 'emmetsdad' in addition to my normal blogs. Love and Support Always, Surviving Miscarriage Together (Emmets mum) xx
Here is this weeks 5 Happy things. 1. The #Foreverloved Balloon Project success. Just wow. I feel so much lighter after doing that. It was amazing and humbling too see all those names, and to know we have helped 200+ families find some comfort makes me really happy. 2. I saw my partner write 'Daddy' … Continue reading 5 happy things 19
Celebrate. That's what we did on Thursday and it felt amazing to celebrate the too short lives of all the babies included in the #ForeverLoved project. It healed m soul to celebrate my baby. Some people might think I make too big a deal out of Emmets loss and his even shorter existence. They might … Continue reading Day 25. Celebrate #MWAH2017
Fragile. I felt very fragile after loosing Emmet, and I was physicaly fragile for a while too. Miscarriage fucking hurts
Warning: contains reference to God, faith and christianity. If this is not for you, you have been warned. On to the Blog Post! I dreamt about Emmet for the first time last night. A little brown, curly haired kid with blue grey eyes. He was wearing navy blue I think, but the rest of … Continue reading A Shakey Faith and baby dreams 👼
A wonderful and informative article from Limdsey from 'a pinch of yum'. Hi, my name is Lindsay. Mother’s Day is coming up and I’m thinking about this a lot because I am that friend. The one who lost a baby. I am probably the friend who you’re tiptoeing around. I might be the friend who has become a major … Continue reading What to do when your friend looses a baby.
This is how we parent. This is how we love. This is our life after loss.
Todays prompt is Ink. I have been considering getting 'inked' for a while. I want something to remember Emmet tattooed on my left side, under my heart so that it won't be visable to anyone else unless I am starkers. I either want just his name, or his initials hidden in a wing. I'm not … Continue reading Day 23. Ink MWAH2018
The prompt for day 22 is sky. I didn't get round to writing this blog as I was so bust with our #ForeverLoved Balloon Project which was a real success! We commemorated over 200 babies yesterday, and it was a really good day, I'll write more about it later. When I found out I was … Continue reading Day 22. Sky MWAH2017
22nd June 2017. #ForeverLoved Balloon Project photographs! If you would like to be included next year, please comment and names/dates you would like remembered, and contact details (email only please) if you would like a photographic copy of your babies name. Please note that it could be a while after June 22nd 2018 that you recieve your photos, as we are a two person team, who both have busy schedules, especially if we beat our target of 400 names for next year!
Well. Here we are. Welcome to hell. Just have to get through today. Looking forward is probbably the wrong way to describe it, but I am 'anticipating' out balloon project later today. #ForeverLoved
We thought we would be meeting Emmet tomorrow...