There may never be closure

Will we one day all be reunited?

I like to think so, but some days I fear that they truly are gone forever. That my mother was right and that death is final. I envy people with unshakeable faith, a firm belief one way or another. I think there is comfort on both sides of the fence if you are firm in your beliefs.

It seems too cruel that that’s the end of our story, but either way both Emmet and Réa will live on with us for as long as we live. They will live on as long as someone remembers them.

The worst bit I think is that it doesn’t seem final, I wonder sometimes. What will it take to find closure, or will it never come? Each act in remembrance of both our babies little lives is healing in its own way, but maybe just accepting that there isn’t any. Parents are not supposed to outlive their children. Every fibre of my being still screams that this isn’t right,and yet, also, I know they’re not coming back. At least not in this life, but I do hope more than anything that there is one after this, where one day I will get to be their mother.

When I die, and I hope go to join them, their, and I hope the names of our future children will go under mine as mother off.

I don’t often dwell on my own death, but that is one idea I will not be shaken from. Their names will go on mine with the many future children I pray outlive me. As they should.

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