Absolutely nothing at all

I don’t feel sad today, I don’t feel angry. I am neither happy, nor content, nor anything.

Right now I feel absolutely nothing.

I don’t feel any emotion at all, last year I cried a lot. I don’t feel like crying at all right now.

I miss him, I always miss my babies, but today doesn’t feel any more than any other day.

I feel like it should. This day matters, to me, Emmet, our family.

I haven’t really felt anything at all in the last few days, I’ve smiled and laughed but it feels sort of far away. I know I am dissociating emotionally from the situation, I should try to ground myself.

I will later, but right now, it is so much easier just to drift away.