Green leaves

Green I can't really say why but green has become 'Emmets' colour, and Réaltas is blue. But it has. Enclosed leafy spaces where the light shines through and everywhere is green and bright remind me of Emmet, and big blue skies and starry nights make me feel closer to Reá. I like forests and groves … Continue reading Green leaves

Pipe dreams and the little things keep me believing

I see little things like this picture and I just suddenly realise how much I ache with missing Emmet. I want a little boy in my arms to look at this and smile and think off. I miss both my babies but it's hardest knowing that Emmet should be here in my arms right now. … Continue reading Pipe dreams and the little things keep me believing

Life is what it is

I grew up knowing a few people my own age who were in Foster homes or had a permanent care home place, and not placed with a family for adoption for whatever reasons. So by the time we all reached high school age and beyond they had spent pretty much all of their lives either … Continue reading Life is what it is

Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of.

I have been pretty absent lately and even abandoned my 5 happy things because I didn't feel up to facing what was going on in my head, which was silly as actually I found it a very helpful coping mechanism. In fact, blogging in general is a helpful coping mechanism. As is the community of … Continue reading Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of.

There may never be closure

Will we one day all be reunited? I like to think so, but some days I fear that they truly are gone forever. That my mother was right and that death is final. I envy people with unshakeable faith, a firm belief one way or another. I think there is comfort on both sides of … Continue reading There may never be closure

Happy 6 months little star.

My grandad once told me a story about a Tribe who believed that when people die they journey high up into the sky, and that the stars are their campfires. Réalti means 'little star' in Old Irish, and Réalta means star. One day I hope to build our own campfire, where nobody is missing and … Continue reading Happy 6 months little star.